There must be some way out of here…
Something disturbing happened last night. I found myself kneeling half-way down the hall in the middle of the night coughing like I’ve never coughed before in my life. The kind that uses all the might of your diaphram muscles and scratches at your epiglottis while making a booming noise as your chest hollows. I can’t remember much about it now, but I remember for about five minutes I had a horrible feeling that I’d die if I stopped trying to expel something inside me. A bit dramatic sounding – I know. Eventually I started to grab a hold of ‘reality’ and tried to control the coughing and catch my breath back. I wasn’t fully awake though, which was wierd for me. Normally if something like that happened I’d become fully awake. Since I hadn’t awoken fully I went back to bed and fell back asleep.
I woke up this morning and had a really sore throat, then I remembered the episode in the night. Before I fell asleep again last night I remembered having a revelation about the philosophical cause for my coughing and saying it aloud to Klara. She told me when she came back from work this afternoon that what I said in the night was apparently something very philosophical and sounded familiar, I just wish I’d been awake enough to understand it myself or remember what it was that I said. I think something happens to me when I fall asleep, and I don’t mean the standard physical and neurological processes that occur during normal sleep. Something else happens and I don’t quite know what it is yet, but I’m getting closer to understanding it.
Ever since I can remember I’ve had a ‘different’ sleep habit than other people. I’ve always had problems integrating sleep into my daily cycle. I’m a ‘night owl’ sleeper, and then some! I underwent a sleep study for the Glasgow University psychology department while I was a student there and the results were surprising, even for the professor who was conducting the study. I was ultimately ‘diagnosed’ with a sleep condition called DSPS (Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome). After the study the professor pulled me aside just as I was about to leave after the ‘debrief’ of my results and asked me if I did anything to the electrodes on the EEG machine that I used during the study because he’d only seen such ‘deep’ electrical patterns in comatose patients or anesthetically influenced patients. In other words, it was like I went into a coma every night.
Apparently recently I’ve sleep-walked on at least one occasion that Klara told me about the other day, I’ve been laughing in my sleep and having full blown conversations too.
Now, I’ve recently been researching the Maya civilization and their constant references to evolutionary consciousness, scales and cycles, of which humanity is in its ‘last’ phase, in the prelude to Dec 21st 2012. If you don’t know what I’m refering to then chances are you might like to find out about the Maya and their calendar.
I don’t know whether this research has triggered an evolution in my consciousness and my sleep is just a conduit of that manifestation or not, but I think the timing of the two is a little too close to be coincidence. I do have a feeling that I’m somehow moving forward at a rate that I can’t quite get a measure on yet.
