All this retarded talk about Apple being “innovative” with the new iPhone which was announced at CES this week is really starting to grind my gears. First off, NOTHING about it is “new”… let me re-state that… NOTHING. In fact, it’s actually quite old. Boringly so. In fact, yawningly boringly so.

My first question was… does it have sat nav built-in? Which my Orbit does. Answer: Nope, the iPhone does not. Let down.

My second question was… will it run third party apps? Which my Orbit does. Answer: Nope, the iPhone will not. It’s a closed API, just like the iPod. How…. shit.

My third question was… the name, and what will Cisco do? You see Cisco already own the trademark to “iPhone”. Turns out they’re suing Apple for blatantly and knowingly infringing on Cisco’s trademark. As they [Cisco] mention in that blog, Apple don’t like other people using their trademarks, what makes Apple think other companies won’t mind them using theirs? G’wan Cisco mai san!

My fourth question was… ok, it’s got push mail courtesy of Ya[spit]hoo, but will it sync contacts / appointments OTA [over-the-air] or will it have to be physically plugged in? Answer: It has to be plugged in. No OTA sync what-so-ever. How insanely retardedly fucking idiotic!? *cough* my Orbit will sync with my Exchange server the moment i add / edit a contact / appointment or receive / send a mail over the air, where-ever I am, without so much as a glimmer of a cable. That’s what a real connected smartphone does.

My fifth question was… how much will it cost? Answer: Turns out it’ll be $599 [approx £300] for the 8Gb version and $499 [approx £249] for the 4Gb version PLUS a minimum two year contract. HA! My Orbit cost just £89 with a 12month contract. Methinks I won’t be willingly and blindly ripped off thanks.

iPhone? It just doesn’t deserve the title. And no, I will not be buying one.

D’ya know what really “grinds my gears”? Dickheads signing up to stupid websites and then willingly giving their entire email address book / contact email list to that website i.e. “Tell your friend about this piece of shit website that you’re signing up to, just give us their email address and we’ll sell those address and rape you so we can make some money!”.

That website then sell that person’s email list to spammers and get a tidy profit. “But they said they wouldn’t spam me when I signed up”. If you think that then you’re special, absolutely immensely special. Because the rest of humanity has evolved from apes, then to cavemen right through to modern day, space exploring humans and you’re special because you got left behind at the ape stage. They might not spam you (yet), but they sure as hell can (and WILL) spam every person’s email address that you just gave them, after a while your address will get added to the list they’re selling and sure enough, you’ll get spammed.

The prime example is sms dot ac. If you’ve registered at that site then you’re a dickhead and shouldn’t own a PC, let alone be allowed near one. They should be flogged. To within an inch of their lives, in fact… make that a millimetre.

I just can’t wait for the karma to slap some common sense into these people.