All this retarded talk about Apple being “innovative” with the new iPhone which was announced at CES this week is really starting to grind my gears. First off, NOTHING about it is “new”… let me re-state that… NOTHING. In fact, it’s actually quite old. Boringly so. In fact, yawningly boringly so.

My first question was… does it have sat nav built-in? Which my Orbit does. Answer: Nope, the iPhone does not. Let down.

My second question was… will it run third party apps? Which my Orbit does. Answer: Nope, the iPhone will not. It’s a closed API, just like the iPod. How…. shit.

My third question was… the name, and what will Cisco do? You see Cisco already own the trademark to “iPhone”. Turns out they’re suing Apple for blatantly and knowingly infringing on Cisco’s trademark. As they [Cisco] mention in that blog, Apple don’t like other people using their trademarks, what makes Apple think other companies won’t mind them using theirs? G’wan Cisco mai san!

My fourth question was… ok, it’s got push mail courtesy of Ya[spit]hoo, but will it sync contacts / appointments OTA [over-the-air] or will it have to be physically plugged in? Answer: It has to be plugged in. No OTA sync what-so-ever. How insanely retardedly fucking idiotic!? *cough* my Orbit will sync with my Exchange server the moment i add / edit a contact / appointment or receive / send a mail over the air, where-ever I am, without so much as a glimmer of a cable. That’s what a real connected smartphone does.

My fifth question was… how much will it cost? Answer: Turns out it’ll be $599 [approx £300] for the 8Gb version and $499 [approx £249] for the 4Gb version PLUS a minimum two year contract. HA! My Orbit cost just £89 with a 12month contract. Methinks I won’t be willingly and blindly ripped off thanks.

iPhone? It just doesn’t deserve the title. And no, I will not be buying one.