Archive for April, 2005
Wake UP!!!
Posted by rob in Life, Philosophy on April 29th, 2005
How far down the rabbit hole do you want to go?
My answer: ALL THE GOD DAMN WAY!
I’ve just seen a film called “What The Bleep Do We Know”. My sister saw it when she went over to Texas and recommended it to me. I’ve been looking for it for ages and finally found it last night tucked away in a torrent file in internet oblivion. I downloaded it overnight last night and didnt expect it to be done for a long time (as the seeding numbers were rather low), anyway, I left it in the hope that it’d be finished today. I came home after work today and found that it had completed! Result!
So I sat down and watched it. Within the first 10 minutes of watching it I had a HUGE smile on my face and thinking to myself “hell yes, this is what it’s all about!” I can’t explain half as well as the people in the documentary / film can but basically it’s about quantum theory.
Quantum theory? That’s boring scientist shizzle about atoms and physics and shit. That’s what I thought but my GOD I couldn’t be farther from the truth. Here’s a VERY brief overview. Quantum theory is about reality, and more crucially the perception of reality, by us, humans and “observers”. It does go into physics and the atomic level to an extent but it’s actually a much broader field of science than I thought it was. Imagine one thing existing in two places at one time. That’s possible. It has been proven in a lab. Actually, I can’t really write now what the film is about because I’m getting a bit of a messed head just thinking about the possibilities and I really need to just think about what I’ve just learnt from watching it. If there is one thing you MUST watch then it is this film. The trouble is that I really don’t think many people are ready for it. It presents such a radical view and really needs the viewer to concentrate on the topic and it requires people to open their minds to so much possibility that I think the majority of the films content will just fly over a lot of people’s heads.
We create our own reality. Everything that we percieve is created by us and we have control over it. We don’t have a concious control over it yet, but the more people that become aware then more people will be aware that they can change their reality and make the world so much more of a better place. This may sound like a pipedream from some new-age hippy and to be honest I don’t care. I know this is the truth, just like I know that I’m sitting here typing this (I would say “now” but time doesn’t exist). I have felt that there is something not quite right with the world for a long time now, and if you read my previous blog then you’ll know that I have written this before.
I was just so blown away that I did a little test to create my own reality. It was such a trivial little test but it just freaked me out in such a cool way. You know when something amazing has just happened to you and you want to tell the whole world about it, well, that’s how I felt when I had done my little test. I was sitting in my chair facing my TV and I had a small empty box in my hand and my bin was behind me. I believed that I could throw the box over my head and make the box hit the wall and land in the bin with my eyes closed. So I closed my eyes and threw it over my head without actually trying to get it in the bin. I really was not concentrating on the action of throwing but the action of the box landing in the bin. I just threw it up not caring where it landed because I knew where it was going to land. I heard the rustle of the bin bag as it landed, slowly opened my eyes and turned around to see the box sitting perfectly in the centre of the bin. As soon as I saw it I just knew and had a beaming smile on my face. You’ll get the same feeling when you get the knowledge. Don’t worry, if you’ve stuck with this blog entry to this point then the knowledge will find you eventually, even if you don’t watch the film.
I’ve just had such a head fuck with that film. I LOVE IT! WATCH IT!
What a difference (or lack of) a txt can make..
Well,
A month later I get a txt message from a number I’ve never seen before saying…
“I no you really think i am a ‘Heartless Bitch’ Im sorry.”
I’m fairly damn sure about who it’s from, and if you’ve been reading my blog for the past week or two then you’d probably know too. Quite what it’s meant to mean is something which evades me and I don’t particularly want to know. If it was meant to be some sort of closure then it’s way too late, I’ve done that without any sort of feedback and I think I’ve done it pretty well.
If it’s meant to be an apology in a hope of making things up then that’s something I don’t even want to consider. If someone can treat me the way she did, and show such utter disregard for another human being’s feelings then as far as I’m concerned, I’m not interested. I now know that I deserve to be treated better.
All in all it’s a pretty empty and pathetic message to send. If it was a few weeks ago then maybe I could see why someone would say those words, but now they really do just seem empty to me and that person seems even more empty than I thought possible. What scares me is that I thought that person was anything but empty. To me they seemed to be a deep, caring and interesting person. On the surface. We don’t have much “time” in this life. What’s the point in wasting it by being hollow?
When all is said and done, if that person was truely “sorry” then they would’ve said so a long long time ago.
So here’s what happened when I received it… Menu>Messages>New Messages>Read>…..>Options>Delete>Delete New Message?>OK.
End of.
Glasgow Uni people
I just wanted to make a post about the people I went to Uni with in Glasgow…..
All the best of luck with the finals. I hope you all get the essays you’re expecting and that you know your shizzle. I’m sure you do and I have every faith that everyone will do amazingly well! I know that Mikey Wikey (Griff) has finished already. I really want to come up and see all you guys when the exams are out of the way and before everyone buggers off around the country earning money and such.
Good Luck! See you all soon!
So…
JESUS CHRIST!
I just spent the best part of an hour writing an entry here but then my fhucking laptop died.
I wrote a long story about my week and how things had picked up and now I can’t be arsed to write it all out again. I’ll do it tomorrow.
Fucking bang on the mark!!
Posted by rob in Life, Philosophy on April 21st, 2005
FUCKING BANG ON!
^^ that article is a perfect description of everything that I have been talking about!
I especially like the paragraph which explains what happened to me perfectly…
“Nice Guys exude insecurity — a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are “users” — just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on “Nice Guys”, stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It’s no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that get’s attracted to them is the lowest form of life…”
Top marks!! ![]()
That article really has explained so much to me, and made me feel a shit load better!
It makes perfect sense to me now about what I’ve been doing wrong. I fully admit to EVERYTHING that the woman wrote in that article! It fits my relationship pattern to a T. Now I know exactly what it means and everything has just slotted into place for me. I knew that I needed to sort myself out before I could start another relationship, I just didn’t know what I needed to sort out but now it’s clear as day. No more Mr Nice Guy. There’s no way I can do this instantly but I’m sure as hell going to work on it. One thing which is sorted, I know what I want out of my life and I’m well on my way to fully achieving it. I just have to learn to like and love who I am. Slightly more difficult but not impossible.
Tomorrow is a new day. A new day for a new me. I can’t wait!
Looking back…
Posted by rob in Life, Philosophy on April 21st, 2005
Hmm, well good news… things are better. In a way.
I’ve done quite a bit of thinking these past few days and realised a few things about myself. I need stability. I think everyone does, to different extents and in different ways. Some people need job stability, some need locational stability and some need emotional stability. I think i need the latter. This year has been pretty turbulent, my parents divorce, moving house, losing contact with my mum and starting a new job, I haven’t had any real stability for quite a while. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. There are people in the world who are a lot worse off than me, I’m not losing perspective on the world or anything. It’s just that right now I’m focusing on me, because I can and this is my site so I can do what I want on it. ok?! good
Anyway, I think I was hoping that a girlfriend would offer the kind of stability that I was looking for. I wasn’t looking to settle down, or get overly committed but just to have some companionship and someone who I could talk to about anything and everything. My (ex)girlfriend and I could do that, we talked about a lot of stuff, some of it was just pure rubbish and the rest of it wasn’t. I miss that. The ability to talk about crap with someone who will talk crap back, but know when to be serious and honest. I was probably looking for too much in my last relationship, trying to find something that wasn’t there but could’ve.
So I need to do some more thinking before I know how to move on and how to deal with the lack of stability in my life. In some ways I just want to ignore it, but I know that won’t make me happy. If I look inside myself a bit more then I might just be able to figure it out a bit more and find what I really need. And that might just be an email.
Who knows?
Switch off
haha!
I haven’t completely switched off but I’m pretty much there… only a few more things to do…
oh yeah…. and what would you say to yourself in an email sent to the future?
New stuff!
I was talking to Griff yesterday and it reminded me of the good old Glasgow days. So I decided to root out the old photos and put them up here. You can see them by following the links at the right or at the top (as if you needed me to tell you that!!)
I feel really bad that I haven’t been up to Glasgow to see everyone for such a long time. Speaking to Griffy today made me realise that everyone will be leaving soon after graduation and everything and it’s the last few months that everyone will be together up there. I will be coming up in the next few weeks!! How about the bank holiday weekend? Does anyone have much planned for then? Revision??! Fuck that shit man! DRINK!
See you soon!
Why I will never have a girlfriend…
This is really bizarre…
I had just downloaded a new extension for Firefox called StumbleUpon and signed up. It basically lets you “channel surf” across the net visiting pages which other people have rated as being good/bad. It’s excellent for when you’re bored sitting at your PC with nothing to do. So I clicked on it a few times and got a few interesting sites to look at. I click it again and I get presented with an essay called “Why I Will Never Have A Girlfriend“! It sums up exactly what I’m feeling at the moment about the sheer unlikeliness of meeting anyone let alone having a relationship with them.
Utter genius!
